Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
