you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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