My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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