If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Terrible idea I love it
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