I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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