Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
