You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
