Your mouth is God's brothel.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
