Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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