i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize