okay pat passed out under dana's car
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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