38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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