is your mom at the bar?
I love black thongs
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
