So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
