I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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