I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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