There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
