I seem to have left my pride at pride
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
