Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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