Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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