My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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