Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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