I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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