We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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