she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
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You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
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Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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