I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
