If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
