Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
