so let's talk penis.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
