Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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