Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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