i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
