I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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