They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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