You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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