Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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