"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
