they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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