please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
