talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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