The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
