The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
