If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
