The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize