Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
