I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
