I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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