theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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