Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
