Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
