tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
