how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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