i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
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I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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