is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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