I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
