im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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