Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Barsexuality is the new black.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
