Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
