My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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