I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
