I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
