She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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