there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
